Rules of Payne – 5 Stars

rules of payne

Elizabeth Lynx

Release Date: April 1, 2015

Genres: ContemporaryEroticHumor

Amazon US   •  Amazon UK 

Barnes & Noble  •  Kobo  •  iBooks


book blurb

Morgana Drake has some problems in her life.

Problem #1: She has a boss she hates. Truth be told everyone at her company hates him, he’s a jerk.

Problem #2: Morgana fantasizes and has sex dreams about her awful boss because he is just sooo good looking. She may have done a lot more than fantasize, but please don’t tell anyone.

Problem #3: She wants to get into her company’s Executive Development Program, but there is one thing standing in her way. You guessed it, her boss.

Problem #4: Morgana needs to get laid by someone other than her boss. She feels if she likes someone else she will stop lusting after Henrik Payne.

Henrik Payne is very serious about his job. He has worked hard for over ten years to become VP of Sales and Marketing and make Mimir the third largest online retailer. He has rules he follows to make sure the company and his life run smoothly.

Rule #1: Know the company from the ground up and the people who make this place great.

Rule #2: Don’t do anything that might negatively affect the company or him.

Rule #3: It’s best not to date women. If he does, they are to be kept at a distance. Emotions cloud judgment and can cause harm to the company if he is with the wrong woman and reveals too much.

Rule #4: Don’t drink. It weakens people’s resolve, makes them act ridiculous and can make them do horrible things. Things that can’t be undone.

So, why does he keep breaking all his rules?


I bang my head against the wall because what else can I do? She’s right but I can’t tell her the truth of why I am so close to Tiffany, why she is more than a friend. I have only known Morgana a month and she still is just my assistant.

“Morgana it’s just a bit more complicated than that. She isn’t my girlfriend in that way. She’s much more to me.”  That sounded better in my head.  Morgana tilts her head and actually sneers at me.

“Oh that makes it so much better Henrik! You are a real piece of work you know that? It must be nice living all rich; having one girl at home and another at work. There’s no one to say no to you and all of your desires. Now you even have one running your errands. Your life must be awesome. Awesome!”

Oh yeah, I forgot I asked her to pick up my dry cleaning. To be fair I never would have asked her to do that, but with the David situation I didn’t really have time to get it myself. It was a quick decision to ask her, and after I did it I felt a little weird.

Morgana is attempting to push past me to leave. I have to try and explain this. I grab her hips and push her against the sink. God she smells wonderful, like flowers and chocolate. Her body is so soft. Jesus, I am hard already. Captain Cock you need to take a vacation for a while.

I bring my head to her neck and trace it with little bites. I can’t get close enough to her and press further. She moans sending shivers down my spine. My nose rises to her hair to inhale.

“Morgana it’s just not what you think it is. I have never even kissed Tiffany.”  I need to grab her ass. Her butt was made for many things, most of which involve my hand. I reach back but she pushes me off her. Scooting away she opens the door and turns back to look at me.

“This is not okay,” she states waving her hand at us before walking away.

Fuck!  This is all Captain Cock’s fault. When he takes over my brain always decides to take a nap. Well no more!  I sit on the toilet seat and point to my crotch.

“Captain Cock this has been your last warning. I am very mad at you for screwing up my life and Morgana’s life with your ludicrous schemes.”  Sighing I look up to see a woman staring at me in the doorway with her three year old daughter at her side.

“This is the ladies room,” she states what I already know.

Getting up I adjust my top and shimmy past her. She shields her child from me and I make my way back to the table.


rules of payne contest


about the author

Elizabeth Lynx

Elizabeth LynxElizabeth Lynx is not a robot, that’s for sure. At least she says she’s not. She is also not a space alien. How do I know this, because she was born in Baltimore Maryland in the 1970’s when no one wanted to be in Baltimore Maryland so why would her parents say that if it weren’t true. Of course she has had her suspicions growing up and is still in a continual search for evidence that backs up her space age theories.

To bide her time she writes about ‘normal’ people and their sexy romantic lives. Her husband chooses to put up with her theories and paranoid musings. Her two little boys help her see that perhaps she isn’t an alien but more of a climbing rock. This theory is new, so she needs more time to develop it further.

Author’s Links

Website  •  Twitter  •  Facebook  •  Goodreads

my review

5 Stars

I freaking loved Rules of Payne . It’s naughty. It’s tempting. It’s also laugh out loud funny.  Elizabeth Lynx gives you the best of all erotic worlds and I’m excited to get more from this author.

Morgana and Henrik. Sweet Jesus. The foreplay between these two – it’s beyond sexy while still being fun. They fight their attraction. They taunt each other with their mutual lust. You anticipate the moments when they give in to it all.  It is a freaking disaster waiting to implode and it is awesome.

I thought Morgana and Henrik’s story was kind of chaotic and quirky but it is also incredibly charming and entertaining.  I really liked the two characters and thought they were easy to relate to.  Their book moves along swiftly – I read it in one sitting and I am now stalking the author for the next installment.

Rules of Payne can’t be missed. It’s a top recommendation from me and I cannot wait to see what happens next.


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